Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Couture v. Lesnar or How Money Has Ruined My Life Again

An artist depiction of the slaying Randy Couture laid upon Tim Silvia.

If you don't know or care, Randy Couture (legitimate legend of MMA) will be facing Brock Lesnar ( 2 wins in 3 fights) for the UFC Title.

Knowing that Brock Lesnar will never take the time to come find me, I can make fun of his sternum tattoo. I wonder if he has a battle axe starting at mid spine and ending on his butt cheeks.

My mom always said: "If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything...unless someone tries to pull some bullshit." Okay I added that last part, but you get where I'm going.

Really? Is our economy so bad that the UFC needs this cash grab event? Is the UFC heavyweight division so deplete of top level talent that some shitbird who almost got his leg ripped off in his first UFC fight just under a year ago, gets a shot at the title solely on name recognition? Obviously the answer to all three questions is Yes.

This is why I'm not a Dana White fan (UFC President). Yes you are giving the fans what they want, but if you listen to the crowd when a fight goes to the ground for more than 10 seconds and hear the volume of boo's and jeers, you'll notice most fans would be happy seeing two guys exchange punches on a turn based system until one dies or goes goes unconscious...then they would complain about an early stoppage. One of my favorite quotes from a dead white guy is Henry Ford's infamous blast against consumer input "If I asked my customers what they wanted, they'd have said a faster horse". As the UFC you have the responsibility to focus on the greater good of the sport not the greater pay day. Don't forget that you are the head of this MMA monster that is taking this country by storm...act accordingly. The UFC is usually good at matching fighters, but there is no explanation for this fight other than the pay-per-view dollars that it will generate. Thats business though...always a bottom line to consider.

A common question is who would you rather see fight Couture in his return to the cage and for a title. How about Fabricio Werdum or Cain Velasquez...both are actually proven and have more experience than Brock...but neither one paraded around in women's underwear on basic cable for a year, so they lose out.

I'm glad Arlovski left the UFC and that Randy will be right behind him when his 2 fight contract is up. You guys have a great product, but I'm just not feeling you on this one.

This is very reminiscent of the episode of the Simpsons when Homer becomes a boxer and ends of fighting Drederick Tatum:

Man #1: "Champ, do you feel remorse for your crime?"
Tatum: "Oh, yes. Believe me, my god, if I could turn back the clock on my mother's stair pushing, I would certainly...reconsider it."

Man #2: "Drederick, ah, what do you think of Homer Simpson?"
Tatum: "I think he's a good man. I like him. I got nothing against him, but I'm definitely gonna make orphans of his children."

Man #3: "Uh, you know, they do have a mother, Champ."
Tatum: "Yes, but I would imagine she would die of grief."

Lucius Jackson (Tatum's manager): "Thank you, thank you. But the champ has no time for further queries. This parole hearing is over."

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