Saturday, December 27, 2008

Greensville Weekly: The Championship Edition

I'm taking a break from my christmas goodies fueled diabetic coma to breakdown the championship game in Greensville. Just think...a week from now I'm going to need to find addition blog fodder.


(1) Bill's Corn Pads vs. (3) The Cunt Returner
Greensville has seen it's share of beginner luck, but I don't foresee a Cunt being returned to the green room. One thing that you should keep an eye on is that Bill is starting Darren Sproles over the likes of Sammy Morris this week. That little tweak is going to make this game a bit more interesting. If Philip Rivers doesn't save his bacon again this week, it's gonna be a silver and not the gold for the default rookie of the year. I think Bill takes home Greensville gold this year in a hard fought championship game.

I somehow weaseled my way back into the finals of Sam's league. If I manage to win that league back to back I might need to sit down and reorganize my priorities. There is a lot of luck in fantasy football, but there is a ton more nerdery. To quote Jim Rome "Playing fantasy football isn't a problem, but winning means you are a loser". Yes...a loser with another gold trophy in his Yahoo! case. BOOOOSH!

Saturday, December 20, 2008

An Eye Towards UFC 2009.

A week away from what should be the best fight card of 2008; I considered writing about and predicting the outcomes of UFC 92. However, a man of vision like myself must not be afraid to look ahead into the future and beyond. So I put the UFC 92 entry on the back burner and decided to write about some of the guys that I think will have a breakout year in the UFC '09.

Kenny "Ken Flo" Florian-
The feared grappler turned striking machine had a phenomenal 2008 beating the likes of Joe Lauzon, Roger Huerta and Joe Stevenson all in convincing fashion. The only thing missing was the shot at the title, which has been put on hold due to the BJ Penn/ George St. Pierre showdown going down in January. Penn is going to be a great test for Kenny, who should be able to hold his own on the ground and standing. Florian has an incredibly balanced attack and should be considered just as dangerous as GSP in the promotion's most stacked division.

Thiago Alves-

One of the most notable fighters from American Top Team in Florida; Thiago's 2008 run was very similar to that of Kenny Florian's. He simply dismantled Matt Hughes, when a flying knee knocked the holy ghost out of crazy Christian and then went on to make Josh Koscheck regret taking a fight on such short notice later in the year. Also similar to Florian he is waiting for the outcome of the Penn/ St. Pierre for his title shot. Alves' Muy Thai skills will give GSP a run for his money and even if he loses out, I'm looking forward to his match with Diego Sanchez.

Demian Maia-
Proof that a submission artist can find success in the UFC. His fight with Jason MacDonald was one of my favorites of the year as each countered and reversed submission attempts leaving Maia the winner by rear-naked choke. Maybe the fight with mma blog whipping boy Caleb Starnes left Nate Quarry a little too confident, because Maia had their fight won within in the first minute. Middleweight champion Anderson Silva may be out of reach for the moment as he eyes retirement and bigger challenges, but Maia should use 2009 to make his case as one of the best fighters in the weight class.

Light Heavyweight
Lyoto Machida-
Lyoto's defensive point karate style rarely finishes fights, but when guys like Rich Franklin and Brandon Vera openly avoid him you know the potential for a superstar exist. The guy refuses to trade punches with you, but that doesn't mean you won't be huffing his feet, knees and fist when you fight him...ask Tito. His next opponent, Thiago Silva, shares a record of 13-0 but doesn't have the hit list of Lyoto (BJ Penn, Sokodoju, Franklin, Ortiz). Even when he challenges for the title in 2009, people will still insist that he can't finish and lacks KO power. They may be right, but he just keeps winning.

Brock Lesnar-
As much as I hate it, Brock is here to stay. The UFC baptized him in fire by pitting him against veterans in his first 3 fights. The wins over Couture (hey I spelled that right on the first try) and Heath Herring overshadow his loss to Frank Mir. Who amongst us has never been caught in an ankle lock? Smart money says he will be fight Big Nog for the title mid 2009, but even if he ends up with a Mir rematch it's going to be an interesting year for the real life end boss. His strength alone is scary, but combine that with his freakish speed and ability to straight up slaughter opponents pinned under him and you have a recipe for the centerpiece of UFC's heavyweight division.

People I'm watching outside the UFC

Shinya Aoki-

The panted submission artist from Japan is set to fight New Year's Eve under the Dream card, which I consider to be on par with the UFC. This guy is the truth. Watching the positions he puts his body in to tap people is like watching Dhalsim in realy life. If for some reason he finds his way to the UFC in 2009 it could spell disaster for the lightweight elite.

Andrei Arlovski-
Still my favorite MMA fighter. We will find out what sort of year could be in store for Andrei early on when he fights the world's #1 heavyweight Fedor. Fedor is a machine, but does have difficulty when it comes to strikers. He has never faced anyone with feet and hands swift as Arlovski and couple that with almost a year of training with boxing legend Freddie Roach and I say this fight is more even than most propose. If Affliction folds after their "Day of Reckoning" event, then Andrei may have to consider a return to the UFC. Whether or not he will find open arms is a question.

"Play it again Andrei"

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Greensville Weekly: Sad Boosh Edition

DOWN GO THE WOBBLERS! DOWN GO THE WOBBLERS! As did Favre, Omega and Buck Naked. Personally I blame my inability to start a TE worth a shyte any given week. Had I started Zach Miller...this would be a completely different post. So there will be a new mayor of Greensville this year, it's just gonna take two more rounds to figure out who.

On must go the Weekly report matter how much it hurts.

Round 2...FIGHT!

(1) Bill vs (5)Asian Balls:
Both teams went above the 200 mark last week and it seems that's what it's gonna take to win. This is going to be determined by WRs and D. If Bess and Breaston can out perform Bowe and Mason I like Asian Balls' chances. However, Matt's notorious hatred for Asians will probably result in several inexplicable points. Overall I give it to Dave to pull off the upset.

(2) 4th and Schlong vs (3) The Cunt Returner:
Here we go again. The battle of the kissing cousins. More appropriately you can refer to this as the Waiver Wire bowl. 4th is going with the he-man woman hater Larry Johnson as a RB2 and Cunt is taking a chance on Tavaris Jackson. I would give this one to Ashton just for not being the one starting Tavaris (he was benched for a reason). Though Favre hasn't exactly been a world beater over the last 3 weeks. Should be a close game as both teams are facing difficult defenses. At the end of the day you gotta like Ashton to go next round robin and face Asian Ballz in the Greensville Championship match.

Yeah there are two more games this week...but let's face it. This is just Yahoo giving us a reason to keep tracking our fantasy teams in hopes we see a Toyota Tundra or Old Spice commercial.

In closing...BOOSH!

Friday, December 12, 2008

Easily Pleased

What can I say...its down my alley.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Greensville Awesome Fantasy Football Great Job

2008 was the 5th anniversary of Greensville and by far the oddest. A strong draft really meant nothing once the season got going and no one knows that fact better than The Ghost of the Big Fish himself, Shaun "Shank" Nelson "Nelpin"

He didn't draft Tom Brady, Larry Johnson, Todd Heap or Marques Colston, but nonetheless his season fell apart faster than a Mexican house of cards (ZING!). I asked Shaun to write a guest column about his woes and he obliged.
Oh where do I start? I have had such an awesome year! Lets start around when I drafted Shawn Merriman

“Naw dude, I’m cool …I can play …”

Ok that was totally my fault … he was already hurt and I was dumb for thinking he would do anything while he played with a season ending injury…also did you see that pic cus he def did some roidage!

Lets move on to another of my mistakes , Willis McGahee … this asshole cant decide if he wants to play or not before every f’n game …. and of course when I play him he doesn’t do shit …but then when I leave him out he might play a game and score 20 some odd fantasy points …I think it has a lot to do with his PIE addiction

Moving on to the next pile of shit … Chad Johnson ….sweet sweet ocho cinco …good ole happy-go-lucky 8-5 , seriously what was I thinking here this guy is a jackass. I knew I made a huge mistake when he didn’t even score me 2 pts the first week and didn’t score more than 10 pts until week 4 …but then went back to under 10 for another couple weeks …Luckily here I was able to pawn this guy off on dirty (and then he didn’t score any points or even play for that matter) not that I scored real big with Marvin Harrison …but I was winning after the trade!

"I just scored 4.80 points"

Awesome. So yeah already some big name guys are killing me when I thought I was gonna be golden this year, especially with my favorite first round pick LT ! Ohhhhhh yeah precious LT …yeah here is where I want to punch Norv in the face-

"I really am an idiot..."

Ok, I can accept LT needed some time to warm up his toes …but ‘den…but ‘den …

ANTONYO Gaytes!!!!! Yeaah … this guy has jammed me all year … he started out cold …healed up and got better and then fucked me at the worst possible time… I even kept the faith and wouldn’t trade him to dirty or derek … yeah they probly enjoyed his failure after my rejections…

He should have spent more time trying to get the ball and less time befriending small boys

So yeah I never will learn that drafting too many players on the same team isnt an awesome strategy…. Because I did it like 3 times this year

not only did I grab up LT and Tonyo ..yeah I got me some Carson ” fag-arm” Palmer (thinking he was gonna connect like a mug with Ocho) he was such a bust that I also could have unloaded earlier in the year had I been trade crazy like dirty…

I wish that hot dog was a huge black dick. (real classy Shaun)

Because of Carson’s “fag-arm” I ended up with Gus Fagotte who did ok for a back up and I cant really complain …but I also had Bernard “inconsistent” Berrrian who apparently didn’t learn to catch balls until later in the year …
Ok I am running out of steam here so let me wrap this up with a few more honors.

I definitely got jammed a couple of times by Lee Evans, who finally seemed to be stepping up and the all of a sudden he just stopped showing up...thanks Lee

PS- You can't catch the ball if you are trying to use your face.

I am impressed with my winning after the big losing streak and I did get to beat this guy

 BOOOOOOOSH! (Again thanks to Shaun for making this blog a bit more high brow)

Peace I’m outta here


well put...

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Greensville Weekly: Playoffs Round 1

That's right Mr. Mora...Playoffs. The most wonderful time of the year (if you make it). The time of the one and done. The last man standing eats the burrito. Both dreams and fears will be realized. Set your line-ups and hope for the best.

8 teams enter and 1 team will be declared Mayor of Greensville.

First thanks to the Bros. Nelson who just missed the playoffs by a few games. Hopefully Shaun will write a guest column about the biggest fantasy lames of 2008. Beware Carson Palmer and Antonio Gates...because the Ghost of Koko G seeks revenge.

Let's break down these match ups

(1) Bill's Corn Pads 11-3 vs (8) Favre's Fiasco 5-9
The ball bounced in Favre's direction last week, as he pulled up from his nosedive in time to make the playoffs. Now let's see if he can pull off the upset with a first round win. With Manning and Dallas Clark at Detroit he has the weapons to make it happen. Note to McKenna: Trade Dirty for an RB...he needs a QB.

(2) 4th and Schlong 9-5 vs (7) Omega Nizzle Supreme 6-8
Rematch of week 14, where Omega stole a victory Monday night thanks to DeAngelo Williams. Pay close attention to the Denver v Carolina and Tennessee v Houston games as there is where you'll find the meat of the match up. Will Brandon Marshall or Eddie Royal be the big receiver for Denver. Will Lendale White be able to carve up Houston the way DeAngelo Williams will decimate the porous Denver defense; or will Steve Slaton some how put up the 23 points Yahoo is projecting.

(3) The Cunt Returner 9-5 vs (6) Buck Naked Ballers 7-7
Flip a coin. This should be one of closest games this round with both teams being just about equal this week. The rookie of the year, Cunt Returner, is relying on Flacco as much as Buck Naked will be relying on Le'Ron McClain in a game the Ravens need. However, Pittsburgh's defense is uncanny and if Flacco can keep the turnovers to a minimum he has the edge. Buck Naked has the WR advantage with both Boldin and Fitzgerald at Minnesota in a game where the Cardinals will actually be forced to be pass happy.

(4) Wounded Duck Wobblers 8-6 vs (5) Asian Ballz 7-7
I said it before and I'll say it again...beware a Cambodian in the playoffs. Why do I feel like Steve Breaston is about to make me cry on Sunday? Unless my entire team craps out Monday's game between the Eagles and Browns will be the deciding factor. How will the Eagles attack the Browns? If they decided to stick with the ground game through Westbrook, this Duck is cooked. If McNabb throws TDs to his WRs I might be able to pull this one out.

Predicted Winners:
- Bill will prove why he has been on top Mount Drownugs almost every week and pull off a close victory.

- 4th and Schlong's Stratler and Waldorf combo...errrr... Favre and Warner (get it their old!) serve up a cold dish of revenge making Dirty hate the 2 QB system even more.

- Buck Naked takes this close one via Boldin and Fitzgerald and Joe Flacco's 180 yd 3 INT performance. How's that for a prediction?

- If I thought I would lose in the first round of the playoffs I wouldn't have even written a post half this long. Not sure how the Wobblers are gonna do it, but hey..."You Gotta Believe"

Didn't get that Stratler and Waldorf reference...well here yah go:

Friday, December 5, 2008

Dikembe Mutombo Mpolondo Mukamba Jean-Jacques Wamutombo

Game recognizes game.

When I played little league basketball, the only time I ever received a technical foul was after I blocked a lay-up and gave the guy an obligatory Mutombo finger wave. I did it as a joke, but the ref didn't see it that way.

Mutombo recently opened a hospital in the Democratic Republic of Congo named after his mother Biamba Marie Mutombo. Though he did have to pay several farmers for the land, he also donated 18 million dollars towards the construction. Along with being a 4 time defensive player of the year in the NBA, Deke can speak 5 African languages, French, English, Spanish and Portuguese...although it all sounds the same when he speaks.

One of my favorite basketball players of all time.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Hip-Hop and Eggs

This is my friend Jay (the Indian fellow) and his friend Juan (some gay dude). They like hip-hop and they like breakfast. I'm just glad they could create something wonderful utilizing both their passions.

hip hop & eggs_episode 2 from hip hop & eggs on Vimeo.

When Detrick and I were making the podcast we wanted to do a video element as well. Then Detrick got kicked out of his house by some gay dude (not Juan) and I moved to Asheville. You can still check out the podcast at

The first episode of Hip-Hop and Eggs is available on the same site. Not as polished but still pretty funny.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Greensville Weekly: Regular Season Finale

Well here we are. 14 weeks of moving, shaking, hoping, praying and damning comes down to this. 6 teams have locked up a playoff spot leaving just 3 teams to nab the final 2. It's like musical chairs, but instead of music there is just the faint hum of the computer and NFL Gamecast.

Week 14: Three Match-Ups that will decide the playoff field.
All 3 teams vying for the last 2 spots are facing teams who've already clinched, so we could very well see all three teams lose. However, I expect some surprises this final week. So once more with feeling!

Shaun Nelson only likes one black person.

Koko G vs. Cunt Returner
After 3 straight wins Koko has done the unthinkable and climbed up the ranks to the number 8 spot. He can stuff those wins up his balloon knot though cause he really needs a win this week as he faces the former number one team The Cunt Returner. This match-up is all about RB's. If LT and Kevin Smith can match or come close to matching Thomas Jones and Chris Johnson then I like Koko's chances. If not...then he will be relying on Favre's Fiasco to come up short...which he has been his trend recently.

Webster releases some steam after his recent losing streak

Favre vs. Buck Naked

Favre can win and still miss the playoffs. So all he can really do (along with winning) is hope for a loss by either Koko or Omega. If I were him I would be on a road trip to Minnesota in order to convince Adrian Peterson that you were sent from the future to warn him of an impending war of man vs. machine and life on earth can only be saved if he puts up 300 yards on the Lions. If that comes through then humanity and his season will be saved. I like Favre chances to win, but to make the playoffs is a different question.

Dirty is ready to shine this week.

Omega vs. 4th and Schlong
Whose the Mastah?!? Dirty may have been the only person in all of fantasy football who started D'Angelo Williams and lost last week. Omega could lose and still make the playoffs, or he could lose and Favre winning and keep him out. The bane of his existence is QBs still and that may be his downfall this week as he has to go against Brett Favre and Kurt Warner. His RBs could pull it out for him this week though so he should cross his fins and rub his lucky blow hole for good fortune.

I voted all three teams to win this week, resulting in Favre being left out of the playoffs. Which is really odd when you look at the names on his team, but unfortunately they are all names that under performed this season (looking at you Mr. Manning and Rothlesburger). So Good luck and may the best two men win for the right to lose to McKenna or Ashton week 15.