Tuesday, October 30, 2007

5 Reasons why Texas Chainsaw Massacre is still the best horror movie ever.

So it's Halloween time yet again and AMC has come to the rescue, offering a buffet of horror movies. As a former horror film buff I love seeing all the classics, which got my think bone a goin'. I've always considered the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre to be my favorite horror movie, but I had never realized why. The following is long overdue praise for a diamond amongst a sea of hacks, remakes and flat out lazy efforts in the genre. Here are five reasons why I love this movie so much.

1. Believable Plot: Before every horror movie became a chain of "Wouldn't it suck to die like this" events, people had to actually think of a realistic situation. TCM puts five teenagers on a road trip to the abandoned house of one of their grandparents. Remember back in the 70's teenagers only source of entertainment were road trips, gas lines and hard drugs...thank god for video games. Have you ever gotten lost in the country? It can be pretty damn scary, especially if you run out of gas. This would have been an excellent commercial for Exxon had they cut it to thirty seconds.

2. Simple Yet Gory and Terrifying Deaths: Two bludgeonings via hammer, a chainsaw massage, a meat hook and no puzzles. Nothing too fancy just gruesome death plain and simple. Let's face it, if someone is considering killing you I doubt they are going to let you play a game of Tetris to determine the outcome.

3. Concern for the Victims: Other than High Tension I can't remember the last time a movie made me care if someone died or not. The audience is left with one survivor that you will cheer for as she tries to escape. This movie probably started the trend of yelling at the screen. Oh she can't hear you, but she feels your energy...it's something like home field advantage.

4. Cinematography: When you hear directors like Rob Zombie and Wes Craven refer to Texas Chainsaw Massacre; they always talk about the way the movie was shot. The cold grainy hue that covers the entire movie provides an uncomfortable, almost depressing atmosphere. Sometimes the way a movie is shot can make the film (see Space Jam).

5. Leatherface: Loosely based on serial killer Ed Gein, Leatherface is in a virtual tie with Jason Vorhees for best movie killer ever. A mountain of a man, who never says a word and is obviously suffering from mental illness. The duality of his nature is what makes him so freaking cool. One moment he is carving up an invalid like a chubby turkey, the next he is forced into submission by his smaller and weaker older brother. Jigsaw is just a cancer patient with too much time on his hands. By the way, I would like to thank the American public for supporting the Saw series. If you it weren't for you some unoriginal, talentless, money grubbers would be out of work.

So there you have it. Some justification for why the Texas Chainsaw Massacre is still the best horror movie ever made and proof that I need to find employment very soon.

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