Pigeon Forge, Tennessee: Live Blog

Where the hell am I?

What the hell is this place?

Who moved Myrtle Beach to the mountains?

Where can I find a "Can't Touch This: Myrtle Beach, South Carolina" t-shirt besides my father's dresser?


I'm in Pigeon Forge....not to be confused with Pigeon Ford.

So Dave came into town on his way to chill with his cousins at this log cabin in Sevierville, TN and I decided I would take my 18 hours off from work to do something new. My biggest regret is that I didn't buy any batteries for my camera before I left. Not only is this the home of Dollywood...

...but it's also the home of outlet shopping and all-you-can-eat buffets (that's not a fat joke). It's like I woke up in BF Mangino's heaven...


...(okay that was a fat joke). You can also play a round of mini-golf on a go-kart track while eating your body weight in pancakes here in Pigeon Forge. I have my heart set on a trip to Flap Jack's Pancake Cabin in the morning. If it's anything like I'm expecting I should be devouring a scale model cabin constructed entirely out of pancakes in mere hours.

On the way here I got stink-eyed from some guy at the gas station and then I ate a very mediocre sandwich at the Atlanta Bread Company, which I assume is Ted Turner's attempt at a Panera.


I think I'll stick with Panera where they don't build your hopes up for some good ol' potato soup only to tell you "We're all out of bread bowls". If you introduce the option of turning my dishes into food...don't take it away from me in the blink of an eye...my heart can't take the torture.

Any way...back to Pigeon Forge.

Where the hell am I?

I will try my damndest to get some pictures on the way out tomorrow.