Thursday, October 16, 2008

Fantasy Island Week 6

This video pretty much summarizes my fantasy performance over the last 3 weeks. I'm the guy in the white pants...not the guy getting his jaw disintegrated.

The fantasy gods must have fell asleep this week and ignored my lapse of arrogance in last week's post. The streak reaches 7 consecutive victories in my alternative/preferred reality. This is about the time I should point out the negative correlation between my success in fantasy sports and real life.

Exhibit A: When I decided to move to Asheville, I went from 1st to fourth in fantasy baseball.

Exhibit B: 2007 was the year of fantasy Derek as I won baseball and both football leagues. Conversely, it was also the year of failure Derek as I unsuccessfully looked for work in advertising. At least I got to put three gold trophies in my Yahoo fantasy closet (pause for uncomfortable laughter turning into crying).

Exhibit C: This current streak of fantasy ass kickery fails to lift my spirits as I feel the burden of yet another dead end job crushing my dreams. Though I am enjoying my internship with Sensible City, which probably explains why I haven't been able to start Marques Colston this year.

If this must be the trend, then I'll face my destiny on both fronts. Either swim to fantasy glory while drowning 5 days of the week in the real world; or watch these monkeys bring down the gorilla and hope to catch a break.

Fantasy Savior: Drew Brees....COME ON DOWN!!!! Good lord boy you done out did yo self dis week. 320 yards and 3 being for two thats just showing off. Play on playah and you get Colston back this week. Though your success is ruining my real life, I can hack it.

Fantasy Cuts: Line em up. Benjamin Watson: 0 points, Lawyer Milloy: 1.6 points, Mike Vrabel: 1.6 pts. I appreciate what you all are trying to do for me and my future, but I simply can tolerate no more. Especially you Vrabel, you were supposed to be defensive point machine, but I guess its time to send you to the scrap heap.

One thing about fantasy football; you can avoid the injury bug no man is immune to bye weeks. So I'll be without Donovan McNabb, Roddy White and Larry Fitzgerald this week. Will I get to nine wins in a row? If so you can probably find me celebrating in the kitchen of Barley's. Man seriously...fuck that place.

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