Tuesday, March 2, 2010

History of Baseball 301 (Part 1)

When I was an undergraduate history major, my college actually offered a course titled "Baseball History 301". Had I not been a graduate level procrastinator I might have actually signed up before it filled up in 5 minutes.

With Opening Day just under a month away I wanted to examine some of my favorite moments in the sport. Oddly enough, none of my favorite moments involve feats of great athleticism or achieving career milestones. I really just dig the fights and drugs.

One of my favorite baseball moments was the day 26 year old Robin Ventura decided to buy a one-way ticket on the Nolan express.

Nolan Ryan (46 years old) is to baseball what Dalton is to the Double Deuce, about 3 gallons of ass whoopin' packed into a pint glass. During a Texas Rangers vs. Chicago White Sox game in 1993, Ryan hit Ventura with a 96 mph fastball. Being hit by a pitch normally awards the batter a trip to first base, unless of course they find the pitcher's mound more attractive real estate. Ventura should have chosen the former. One only needs to watch the first minute of the video to witness the extent of his error.

Robin Ventura Charges Mound Against Nolan Ryan from CoasterNick3157 on Vimeo.

Several things to note:

- At the 0:07 mark you'll notice Ventura take a second to gather his thoughts. I don't know what was going through his mind, but it should have been "Walk my ass to first base and take out my frustrations on the next elderly man I see".

- At the 0:10 mark his bullish charge becomes a regretful saunter, but it's too late, he already made his move and now young one you must learn...a snake cannot eat a dragon.

- At 0:54 you'll see what can only be described as the most homoerotic scene in MLB's history.

- When the heat starts back up around 1:45 you'll notice Bo Jackson in the thick of the tussle. Bo knows conflict resolution.

Robin Ventura isn't a bad guy and definitely not a bad baseball player. He was simply a victim of anger and impulse. You can't take away his charity work, golden gloves or all-star appearances, but his legacy will remain the guy who stepped to Nolan Ryan and got handled.

Damn I love baseball!


tiburon said...

man, fuck baseball, but that shit is right up there with that deep fly balding Canseco quicker than the gunpowder he was huffing.

btw, take note of how much larger Bo Jackson was than nearly everyone out there.

Guido Raso said...

Great Post son - Baseball is utter fagetry, like Curling or RuPaul

Bo Jackson was the heat in Tecmo Super Bowl though....