Sunday, June 7, 2009

Joy "Joybot" "Bani" "Waffle Butt" Castro/Hart (Side A)

Well I finally made it back and just in time for post 100. I never thought I'd live to see it, but here we are face to face with 100 examples of having too much time and on my hands. The "Big Hunnit" means I had to break out something special. Something out of the ordinary. Something that would shake our social structure down to its very roots. Something Cute....Something JOY!

I've known Joy for about 9 years or and I can say without hesitation that the pleasure is all hers. JOKES! I feel incredible fortunate to call Ms. Future Hart a dear friend. Out of all the chicks I know (both of them) she is definitely the funniest and most optimistic. She is one of the reasons why it took me so long to leave Richmond, as I very much miss seeing her every weekend for various adventures and visits to various foodatoriums. We stay connected by chatting online while we are both supposed to be working. Hey, how am I gonna know what she has for lunch and how Muay Thai Boxing is going unless we get paid to chat?

Also, she just happens to be on the verge of marrying my good friend, horseshoe counselor and fantasy football enemy Ashton Hart.

"Nope, I think they are all out of San-J products"

Being a skirt and all, Joy is very excited about her big day. I shot her a few questions over ICHAT and strapped myself in.

Ladies and Gentlemen I present to you: Joy Castro.

Robots, Skulls and Squids: As you work for San-J and I eat a lot, much of our day time chat involves food. Tell me what your death row meal would be.

Joy: Oh my gosh, what an awful scenario, but also a very lucky one- bc you're supposedly going to be able to eat any meal you've always wanted, ever ever.. For a long time, from grades 3-7, I thought I could live off of Stauffer's microwaveable mac n chee and a glass of whole milk. But as I grew older, I realized that ham n chee hotpockets could suffice (with the glass of whole milk).
Pizza has always been my staple comfort food, but that also shares it's place with sushi and ice cream-

I think, if I were about to get blasted off into sweet-bunny-land of sleepytime Boulevard...
I would probably go with a delicious medley of my favorite sushi/sashimi: salmon sashimi, hotate butter sushi, shrimp crunch roll, and the hot night roll. I'd probably make myself eat at least 2-3 sets of each of these rolls, for good measure.
And Ashton has a rash all over the place right now and he's standing right here in front of me with half his shorts down spanking his own butt so it'll stop itching and he'll stop scratching....
you don't have to put that in the interview.

RSS: I think I have to.

Joy: Ok, well it was the double-spank. Ummm I think yea, I'mma have to go with the sushi..
Yea, final answer!

RSS: So a farewell meal of sushi in your prison cell. You seem like a fairly straight laced lady, if the police knocked on your door and asked for you by name, what would be your first guess as to why they were on your trail?

Probably, depending on whether or not Ashton Hart was home or not- I'd suspect -- if he wasn't -- that he had gotten arrested! Or had a clumsy accident and needed me to pick him up. Or lastly, they traced that bag of money I found to my house and will most likely want it back. But by the time they'll have realized, I would have already bought a Mini Coop (White pepper color).
And the wildcard response- they're probably crooked cops, trying to dupe me into something and that's when I'll have to kick their butts Streetfighter IV style. If I lose, I'll probably grovel and cry a lot, but most likely.. best case scenario: I'll win.

RSS: But speaking of your groom to be. Your getting hitched in July. What's been your favorite part of planning a wedding? And your least favorite?

Joy: Favorite part of planning has to be the dress picking, fitting and accessory buying!
My least favorite part is definitely the guilt that comes with figuring out where all the money will come from and the fast and furious rise of those figures.. it's a shame shame shame that some vendors and just the wedding industry in general gouges people for money.

RSS: I always imagined that girls think of their wedding day like guys think this is their one chance to play a sport or make something that everyone will see. You want to come out looking your best. Is this at all accurate or is there more behind working so hard for a one time show?

Joy: Yeap, it's definitely a once in a lifetime event and, as a girl that has very high expectations and is easily disappointed, you can't help but hope for things to be perfect-- but throughout this process, I've found that it truly is a time for bonding between you and your future spouse, your parents and closest friends. For serious. I've had about 11 breakdowns since last May and have been rehab'd through each one by one, Mr. Hart. It's going to be a very special day, a very special moment- but I know that it means much more than just one perfect day. It sets the stage for the rest of my life, my happily ever after is about to begin.
(wipes away tear)
Oh you big softie!!

And exhale. While you go find the socks Joy just blew you out of, I'll prepare the conclusion of the interview for the week of her wedding.

Boy do I have a lot of pent up bloggery coming down the pipes. Stay dry.

1 comment:

Daniel said...

I haven't read a blog of yours since number 5. Why the fuck did I do that. I miss both you gay fags. Joy was my favorite plushy doll. I imagined all my adventures with her as an adventure with a Jerry Bear. And when I wasn't thinking about stabbing her to see if strawberry preserves would run out... I was thinking about using her as an instrument in "Knife Fight." Congrats to Joybot and Ashton. Long time coming... that's what she said... and by she I mean Joy's little sister with the haphazardly-opened-tin-can mouth. Love (love)