Saturday, May 12, 2007

Things I want to steal from people's lawns pt.2

I've been holding off on this post for awhile now. Just to recap this running theme; I deliver pizzas to pay for my rent, bills and my ever growing Pog collection. "Remember Alf Bart? He's Pog form"-Milhouse. Many of the houses I deliver to have interesting or at least funny knick-knacks in the yard. Now petty theft has it's time and place. The time is not when I'm looking to start a career, the place is not Hanover, V.A. aka Copland. So instead of using my five-finger discount, I decided to start taking pictures of some of the items I would like to make mine without purchase or barter.

I don't know what the hell this is, but it's awesome. It reminds me of that box from the Hellraiser movies. (Check it) The sculpture is about 3ft. high and sits in the middle of the lawn. If anyone knows what this is let me now. Until then I'll continue to believe that this is the most sophisticated yard orb ever.

I've seen funnier more elaborate mail box decoration, but if you are going to be tacky you might as well be cute. When did I get so bitchy? Whenever I own a house of my own and become a mailbox worthy member of society, I want to install a transportation tube system like they use at a bank drive-through to collect my mail. I imagine the neighborhood children will think it humorous to fill my tube with cans, small animals and Molotov cocktails. Kids will be kids I reckon.

Alas, we have frogs. The most common things I see in yards are ceramic/metal angels, turtles, dogs, cats and rabbits. I enjoy a good frog every once in awhile. I also enjoy feeding the frogs that hang out outside the door at Domino's. I've delivered a few late pizzas recently because I was trying to catch a moth or some other small insect to feed Gudger (the new Domino's frog). Damn I'm a dork. Oh well, I'll let Tracey and Rafael take us home.
Bunny ears on a ironic.


Melanie said...

I harbor secret fantasies of stealing into the yards of folks with those inflatable lawn ornaments and taking a scythe to their giant snow globes, easter bunnies, and--at this time of the year--cartoon characters in cap and gown.

matthew said...

Goddamn it! I've had this "Alf" pog pic I wanted to send you for several days, I just kept forgetting!

Kristin said...

i love these posts.