Fantasy Island Week 4

When it rains it pours...


200 points is the magic number in the league of Greensville. Meaning if you can get to 2 hunnit, you are most likely going to win. After failing to crack the 180 mark the first 3 weeks the Wobblers came up aces with the highest score set in the league thus far. 260.80? I'm only used to seeing that number on the scale (back in my lardier days) or on my paycheck. That freakish score raised me from 8th to 5th place and 3rd in overall points.

In the other league it took a game winning field goal in overtime from Jeff Reed to get me the win, keeping me in 3rd place.

Fantasy Savior: I hate to snub Drew Brees yet again, but Laveranues Coles caught three touchdown passes without defeating my beloved Niners. However, the game is the game and I'm used to fantasy and reality allegiances colliding. Speaking of which; I wanted to put a hex on Brett Favre for almost costing me the win in Sam's league. 6 touchdown passes by an opposing player would normally call for me to break out the piano wire and get on the next train to New York to see what the core of Brett's Adam's apple looks like. Being that 3 of those TDs went to Coles, I'll keep the "Life Line" and Favre can keep his jugular another week...maybe.

Fantasy Shitbird:
Heath Miller didn't need to do much to help me win Monday night, but his 2 receptions for 8 yards effort would have spelled doom if not for Jeff Reed's leg. I've had the worst luck with tight ends this year, but if I can't rely on "Big Money" Miller, who else is out there.


Now I must get ready to take on the undefeated Bill's Corn Pads. McKenna's team named after his father's feet will pose a significant problem, but I've already taken down one giant this year. Speaking of which someone put out an A.P.B on Gheorge Mureshan.

2008 Fantasy Baseball Yearbook

Well, Fart Huffers LLC had a good year but won't be repeating as champion and unless that time machine I ordered on the internet turns out to be worth the $19.99 we won't be finishing any better than 4th in baseball. Not a bad year though, we held down first place a couple times, but a slow economy, Fantasy Adam and lack of power numbers caught up with us in the second half.

To cap off this season I decided to put some good use to my time spent watching games on Stat Tracker and Yahoo Gamecast. There are a lot of funny looking people in the MLB , all of whom are far more successful in life and with ladies than I, but here is my cowardly rebuttal in the form of photos and captions.

Ramon Vazquez: Sporting a mustache only at 8 year-old girl could love.

Dioner Navarro: I'm convinced he simply moved the connector of his uni-brow to his chin. Nice save.

Houston Street: Calm down fella.

Jorge Posada: The Yahoo photographer must have fell for Jorge's infamous "pull my finger" gag before he snapped this one.

Masa Kobayashi: Masa got his team photo done at Glamor Shots and got a background of his choosing. Chain link fence...not bad, but I would have gone for the majestic waterfall.

Gabe Kapler: Voted "Whitest man in the MLB."

Jeff Baker: Skeletor called, he wants his heroin addiction back.

Adam Jones: Adam...ADAM!...Wake up or your mom isn't gonna buy the wallet size prints.

Miguel Cairo: Quick quiz: Derek is about to make a reference to which popular figure: A) Popeye. B) Mills Lane. C) Mick the trainer, from the movie Rocky or D) All of the above. See below for the answer.

Chad Bradford: You know this guy has started and ended his share of bar fights. "Fuggin A I touched your wife's ass! Keep those gums flapping and I'll be kicking yours!"

That about does it. Thanks to Shank Nelpin for helping me keep an eye out. See yah next season. Go Dodgers...unless the Brewers make the playoffs then thats my October team.

Oh yeah the answer is E) Billy Barty

Fantasy Island Week 3

Fantasy Proverb #131: Play match-ups, not yourself. Meaning don't over think the situation; trust your fantasy gut and show some cohones. I, a fool, did not follow this proverb and I came away with one win and one really close loss in week 3.

While trying to decide who to start at my wide receiver/tight end position (no gay jokes) I totally ignored Laveranues Coles on my bench due to that big "Q" next to his name indicating that he was questionable to play, and it's not like he had been a world beater the first two weeks either…but the decision not to start him, even though Ashton was starting his quarterback and I could nullify some of his stats, cost me the W. Also...who names their kid Laveranues?

Just when I thought Favre would blow it for Ashton and that Michael Turner had all but single handedly crushed my team in the other league, every thing got turned on its head. Favre had to go into shootout mode against the Chargers and Michael Turner turned (get it?) out not to be enough to keep Sam ahead in points. So three weeks in I'm 3-3. I know what I need though…I need to stop the bleeding in my league and a solid receiving option until Colston comes back. In the other league I need Derek Anderson to stop wilting before my eyes like a flower separated from the soil. Especially since my back up is Chad "Short Passes only" Pennington.

Fantasy Savior: From the depths of doom Ladanian Tomlinson came thundering back with a two touchdown effort that sealed the victory for me in Sam's league. Granted Sam has the worst injury bug ever loosing Tom Brady and Marques Colston on the same team, but that was a close one.

Fantasy A Fool Actor: Oh namesake why did I draft thee. You Derek Anderson, were a sexy pick a month ago, but now I just have to wait and see if you can turn things around. How I win with your 2 TDS and 5 INTS over the first 3 weeks I do not know, but the league is so shallow on waivers I have no other choice but to start you until they install Brady "Muscle Shark" Quinn Week 5.

Noticing that my fantasy team is doing very well, Derek Anderson audibles to throw yet another interception.

Aliens vs. Predator Requiem: The Live Blog

(Current Movie Time 30 minutes)

So yeah the live blog was a late idea and I've practicality missed the first half hour of the movie while tinkering with my fantasy teams. I doubt I missed any crucial plot developments, but I did catch out of the corner of my eye an alien busting out of a little kids chest. So thus far I guess I'm gonna pull for the Predators. There is also a pizza delivery guy who looks to be the main character. If this is the hero...this movie has already won me over. Wait he just let JTT (Jonathan Taylor Thomas) kick his ass in front of some broad. Not acceptable.

The Predators as I suspected are on their way. And I think one is about to kill a cop...and yep...there goes Lt. Quickkill.

(Current Movie Time 48 minutes in)

Quick update...I think the forecast calls for a slight chance of brief nudity. And Denied by JTT!...and here comes the fight...Okay Predator all of a sudden started kicking ass, be right back. The only black kid in the movie just got gutted by an alien...must have been going for endurance.


(1:00)
The battle is going full swing. The protaganists are holding out in a building of some sort while this whole thing blows over. I think the aliens are ahead on the kill count. Despite the lack of nudity this movie could be doing worse. The Army just arrived, so I think are about to get ridiculous (about to?). Uhhh......the aliens are in a hospital killing pregnant women now....seriously....wow.

(1:15)
Now we throw in a government conspiracy. I tell you the twist and turn in this movie are as unpredictable as a knock- knock joke. Protagonists are in route to Giliam's Square (sp?) where there may or may not be an evacuation aircraft waiting for them. By the way...a pregnant woman had a litter of alien puppies burst from her like a fountain of Jello. Aliens are up by a lot, maybe they aren't judging this competition on overall body count....I'll go check the abstract on Netflix.

(1:30)
I just realized that one of the aliens is an AlienPredator hybrid. This would actually be a good time to say I never saw the first Alien vs. Predator I can only hope this was explained in that movie.

(End)
Well in what was an epic dual of extraterrestrials, I think we'll have to call this one a draw. After getting a group of protagonists the good ole U.S of A just drop a bomb on the site killing aliens, predators and even a few humans to boot. I feel obligated to chant U-S-A. What a weird last scene. They show some of the predator's weaponry to an older Asian woman, who declares that our world is not ready for this technology. The reply is simply "But this isn't for our world is it Ms. Utani". So I guess some how old Asian women are going to start hunting Predators now for the third movie. If it's as half as good as this movie, you can count me in...in an iron maiden which would be complete bliss compared to watching another movie this bad.