Friday Pot Luck

You would think a shark would have better form on a water slide.

So the final day of work this week is here and those of us working in front of computers know that the day is already lost. So might as well start off right with some highlights from the information super highway. Enjoy.

Now I'm just waiting for a bear to ride a roller coaster. (Gizmodo)

Wanderlei Silva interview. I like Rich Franklin, but Wandy is my boy. TKO 2nd round. (Cage Potato)

Ron Paul gets all up in Obama's grill. (Huff Post)

For the love of God, put Kobe Bryant in a Knick's Jersery! (2K Sports)

Take it from the fat kid, time to start eating right folks. (Food Inc.)

My dad swam into a school of jellyfish once...once. (Discovery Earth)



A lil something for my brothers and sisters in front of the monitors today.

Joy "Joybot" "Bani" "Waffle Butt" Castro/Hart (Side A)

Well I finally made it back and just in time for post 100. I never thought I'd live to see it, but here we are face to face with 100 examples of having too much time and on my hands. The "Big Hunnit" means I had to break out something special. Something out of the ordinary. Something that would shake our social structure down to its very roots. Something Cute....Something JOY!




I've known Joy for about 9 years or and I can say without hesitation that the pleasure is all hers. JOKES! I feel incredible fortunate to call Ms. Future Hart a dear friend. Out of all the chicks I know (both of them) she is definitely the funniest and most optimistic. She is one of the reasons why it took me so long to leave Richmond, as I very much miss seeing her every weekend for various adventures and visits to various foodatoriums. We stay connected by chatting online while we are both supposed to be working. Hey, how am I gonna know what she has for lunch and how Muay Thai Boxing is going unless we get paid to chat?

Also, she just happens to be on the verge of marrying my good friend, horseshoe counselor and fantasy football enemy Ashton Hart.

"Nope, I think they are all out of San-J products"

Being a skirt and all, Joy is very excited about her big day. I shot her a few questions over ICHAT and strapped myself in.

Ladies and Gentlemen I present to you: Joy Castro.

Robots, Skulls and Squids: As you work for San-J and I eat a lot, much of our day time chat involves food. Tell me what your death row meal would be.

Joy: Oh my gosh, what an awful scenario, but also a very lucky one- bc you're supposedly going to be able to eat any meal you've always wanted, ever ever.. For a long time, from grades 3-7, I thought I could live off of Stauffer's microwaveable mac n chee and a glass of whole milk. But as I grew older, I realized that ham n chee hotpockets could suffice (with the glass of whole milk).
Pizza has always been my staple comfort food, but that also shares it's place with sushi and ice cream-

I think, if I were about to get blasted off into sweet-bunny-land of sleepytime Boulevard...
I would probably go with a delicious medley of my favorite sushi/sashimi: salmon sashimi, hotate butter sushi, shrimp crunch roll, and the hot night roll. I'd probably make myself eat at least 2-3 sets of each of these rolls, for good measure.
And Ashton has a rash all over the place right now and he's standing right here in front of me with half his shorts down spanking his own butt so it'll stop itching and he'll stop scratching....
you don't have to put that in the interview.

RSS: I think I have to.

Joy: Ok, well it was the double-spank. Ummm I think yea, I'mma have to go with the sushi..
Yea, final answer!

RSS: So a farewell meal of sushi in your prison cell. You seem like a fairly straight laced lady, if the police knocked on your door and asked for you by name, what would be your first guess as to why they were on your trail?

Probably, depending on whether or not Ashton Hart was home or not- I'd suspect -- if he wasn't -- that he had gotten arrested! Or had a clumsy accident and needed me to pick him up. Or lastly, they traced that bag of money I found to my house and will most likely want it back. But by the time they'll have realized, I would have already bought a Mini Coop (White pepper color).
And the wildcard response- they're probably crooked cops, trying to dupe me into something and that's when I'll have to kick their butts Streetfighter IV style. If I lose, I'll probably grovel and cry a lot, but most likely.. best case scenario: I'll win.

RSS: But speaking of your groom to be. Your getting hitched in July. What's been your favorite part of planning a wedding? And your least favorite?

Joy: Favorite part of planning has to be the dress picking, fitting and accessory buying!
My least favorite part is definitely the guilt that comes with figuring out where all the money will come from and the fast and furious rise of those figures.. it's a shame shame shame that some vendors and just the wedding industry in general gouges people for money.

RSS: I always imagined that girls think of their wedding day like guys think this is their one chance to play a sport or make something that everyone will see. You want to come out looking your best. Is this at all accurate or is there more behind working so hard for a one time show?

Joy: Yeap, it's definitely a once in a lifetime event and, as a girl that has very high expectations and is easily disappointed, you can't help but hope for things to be perfect-- but throughout this process, I've found that it truly is a time for bonding between you and your future spouse, your parents and closest friends. For serious. I've had about 11 breakdowns since last May and have been rehab'd through each one by one, Mr. Hart. It's going to be a very special day, a very special moment- but I know that it means much more than just one perfect day. It sets the stage for the rest of my life, my happily ever after is about to begin.
(wipes away tear)
Oh you big softie!!


And exhale. While you go find the socks Joy just blew you out of, I'll prepare the conclusion of the interview for the week of her wedding.

Boy do I have a lot of pent up bloggery coming down the pipes. Stay dry.

Van Jones vs. Howard Beale

Van Jones, despite his avid support of turtlenecks, is a very likable fellow. He also happens to the be the "Green Jobs Czar" for the Obama administration. Is he likable enough to counter my contempt for neck covering garments? Not even close, but that is a different topic for a different post.

It may not seem like it at first, but both these videos are trying to achieve a common goal. That goal is to, how do I say? "Light a fire under your butt." Whether you seek to reconnect with those around you to improve communities en route to improving the world. Or if you want to instigate the rebellious nature that lies within each of us. The common message is that the dark seasons of our life are only made worse by our lack of action.

Van Jones has long been an advocate for the green economy (especially in urban environments) and this is to his credit. He seems like a genuine person, with smart ideas and knows how to communicate his thoughts. When he talks about rebuilding connections and communities and restoring our faith in one another (human technology), I want to jump up like an elderly black lady in church with my eccentric hat taking flight as I scream "Amen". This is exactly the sort of emotion the world needs. However, are "Green Jobs" the cure-all for the economy and environment? In my opinion, of course not. As long as you have a scarcity based economy, you are subject to greed, trends, bubbles and breakdowns. My opinion, in this case, doesn't matter. The green movement captures the good intentions of the human spirit and that can be the catalyst for a truly radical shift in humanity.

I could go off on my problems with our monetary system and the ever growing list of what is wrong in this world, but all that serves to do is to add black to the night. It's far more important to discuss solutions and find others willing to connect with you and work towards a better future. Obama was elected because people were fed up. We can debate whether or not their passion was misdirected, but there is no arguing that the world is still full people willing to do good work.

Good will and passion are excellent fuels for progress, but angst and frustration work just as well. Howard Beale's (Peter Finch's character in the harshly realistic, yet highly prophetic film The Network) possessed rant is also solution based, although appealing to a different sentiment. He implores his audience to not let the world get worse than it already is. Beale jars them out of their shell and exposes them for becoming complacent. Jones states that this current shock to our livelihoods was necessary for people to realize how out of touch we are with one another. Beale wants you to realize that we are still living human beings capable of acting out. Whether you sing "Kumbayah" or "Fight The Power" we all agree that things should be better than this.

To Beard or Not To Beard...

I miss Kids in the Hall.

Lousy Smarch weather. For someone who fancies themselves as a funnyman, my lack of timing is epic. As soon as I shave my beard, mother nature remembers it's early March and screams "In like a lion fool!" while dumping sleet and snow on my defenseless face.

This was the coldest winter I've ever experienced and I kept a beard much longer than I normally would. Asheville is full of face suits though, which made me feel like I blended in with my hairy brethren. While I was in Richmond, Chuck told me that when you are having trouble growing hair on certain parts of your faces, get a man with a beard to rub it on the spot. That's the closest my face has been to another man's since my days as one of Madonna's background dancers.

I got it in my skull to get rid of the facial hair at the end of February and bring an end to the dual realities that come with me sporting a fine mouth curtain. There were the good times. Like when girls compliment your beard. Nothing puts a strut in your gate like cute coffee shop girls commenting on your style.

Me: Large coffee to go please
Coffee Broad: Sure, you on your way to Barley's?
Me: Yeah about to get the day going I guess.
Coffee Broad: I'm liking the beard.

Yep, that's Alicia Keys riding a puppy. You think you're better than me?

Me: Really? Thanks! It's so manly and thick that I lost my lips a few days ago, can I use yours to find em'?

Didn't say that last part, but you get the idea. Beards open doors that bare faces can't.


Then there are the bad times. Like when you are walking home at night and you get mistaken for homeless...by a homeless man.


Homeless Man: Hey what's going on?
Me: Not much, howya doing?
Homeless Man: You know just trying to stay warm, you got a place to stay tonight?
Me: (Thinking that this man was about to ask to stay at my house) Uhhh...yep.
Homeless Man: Oh you got a tent or are you at the mission?


Me: I live in a house.
Homeless Man: Oh
Me: Yeah, very spacious...got more rooms than I can use. Gets a bit hot in the winter though.

Okay that last part was made up, but damn that's a new low.

On my personal beard record, I give my latest attempt a 7. It did it's job, but maybe next I'll grow a different style of beard. Thinking about giving this one a try: