Greensville Weekly: The Upset Special!

SPROINK!!

Whoooooooaaa Doctah! It has happened, the first playoff spots have been claimed.

The Cunt Returner: 8-2

1st place, yet 5th in points.  Suspect, but as long has his team stays hot he should finish out on top.

4th & Schlong:  7-3

I hate Kurt Warner.

Wounded Duck Wobblers:  7-3

Though I still regret not taking Wes Welker from the Cunt Returner, I'm more concerned by the fact that I just had to pick up the hated Juilus Jones being E. Graham and S Jax are breakinGdown just in time for the playoffs.  I hate it when Dave is right.

Bill's Corn Pads:  7-3

With bye weeks out of the way, ole Wild Bill should run up the score faster than Carlton on PCP.

Week 11:  The Week of the Upset

Favre over The Cunt Returner: 

At the end of the day I like Favre's matchups much better than The Returner's.  QBS Manning and Ryan should prove to be deadly against the 1st place Cunts.

Omega Nizzle over Yours Truly:  

If my QB's don't show up Dirty can easily take me out this week.  Santana Moss and Brandon Marshall should be 20 points a piece easy.

Big Fish over Buck Naked:

If for some reason Seattle can stop the Arizona's pass attack (big if) then the playing field is in favor of the Mekong Delta Catfish.  You gotta believe.  

With the ranks 5-10 all being within a game of each other, there should still be some suprises to come down.  4 spots left should be an interesting home stretch.

Greensville Weekly: Week 8

I got knocked out this week. But at least it took till week 8 to finally lose twice in one week. Overall record now 12-6.

The Cunt Returner busted me down a peg to the #3 position by defeating the juggernaut of the league. Another big win came from Favre's Freakshow who stays locked in the playoffs with a win over Big Fish. Some minor rank switches, but other than that, a low scoring ho-hum week in Greensville.

We have 5 more weeks before the playoffs start, let's take a gander at the 7-8-9 spots which are all on shaky ground. I would discuss the number 10 spot but it looks like you can stick a fork in P for the season unless something crazy goes down.

7. Omega Nizzle Supreme: 3-6
Made a good trade when he got Greg Jennings for Matt Forte, but neither player has been themselves since the trade. Omega's only match-up against a lower rank team comes in week 12 when he plays Big Fish, which should be a game to watch if Big Fish can stay a game back. I know he is trying to move one of his backs for help at QB, TE or D which is wise move. However if he is offering others the junk he's been sending my way (See Leon Bennet and Henry Lewis for Drew Brees proposal), I don't see the move being made. The key word here is "survival". Can Dirty survive 5 more weeks and get into the playoffs? I think so, but he does play me before then so I'm not really going to be upset if he drops a game or two.

8. Favre's Fiasco: 3-6
Put up less that 180 and still got the win last week. I don't envy the rest of his schedule though as he has to play the top 2 teams in the last 5 weeks. His team reminds me of the Indianapolis Colts this season. All the name power is there, but the production isn't. Most of his fate relies on the teams that surround him. If he can win 3 out of 5 he should be set. Also look out Week 14 when he plays Big Fish. We can call it the Loser Bowl, being who ever wins that week could very likely be losing to Bill's Corn Pads or the Cunt Returner the week after.

9. Big Fish: 2-7
Shaun doesn't really control his destiny at this point, but this is fantasy football so no one does. Starting McGahee last week hurt and LT and Antonio Gates on a bye didn't help either. With that being said I like what he is working with. With the exception of Gus Ferret, he lacks any significant holes. Out of the three he has the most favorable schedule left, but he is going to have to take 4 out of 5 unless Omega or Favre collapse completely. It's gonna take some luck , but its not impossible.

Finally this is the week we get to see if Ashton can escape from the curse of Webster. Nothing like having a fantasy nemesis. I like hating Shaun in real life, so I just transfer that over the world of nerd sports.

Under My Skin

I'm offended alright. As a man with 27 years of Negro experience I'm offended by being told I should feel offended by Fox News. Nader's point is clear...Is Obama going to sell-out in favor of corporations and the military industrial complex (like the hated Bush) or is he going to actually champion those who find so much faith in him. After all there was a lot of big money invested in Obama (Lehman Bros. Goldman Sacks and Citigroup to name a few). Time will show his true colors, but history is not in homeboy's favor (I didn't hear the people calling for that bail out bill...you know who was?). You know what every black person is going to call Obama if they don't see their quality of life improving? An Uncle Tom. What else should I call the first African American president if he choses policies that further the burden his people, while I watch him work happily with many of the corporations and institutions responsible for said burden.

"He didn't have to face it (Obama's authenticity) until it came out of your mouth". - Fox's fake outrage distributor

Really? Well then thank God it came out of someone's mouth. As a nation of people who don't test their leader's mettle until it's too late; what better time to start holding our leaders to the fire than now? Obama's got the "juice"...so what is he going to do with said beverage?

Leave it to mainstream media to focus on the shock phrase "Uncle Tom". He didn't even call Obama an Uncle Tom. Nader simply made the line distinct and unforgiving. Identifying two clear paths for the president elect. Ralph is going to take heat for the comment, because people will think: "Where does a white guy get off questioning a black man's authenticity"? Not aware of his Lebanese heritage. Nader's life has been dedicated to protecting the same people who put Obama in office. He has every right to ask the question, and if he hadn't said the words "Uncle Tom" the issue continues to be buried under the celebration of the nation's first minority president. Don't allow your happiness to blind you to the fact that Obama is at the end of the day a politician. His job is to represent and serve the people. If that were happening there wouldn't be such clamor for a messiah like president promoting change.

Note: Nothing like some info broad from a suspect "news outlet" declaring your career over. Though I'm glad there was enough psuedo anger to go around.

Greensville Weekly: Week 7

So what did we learn from week 8?

We learned that to beat Bill's Corn Pads you gotta put up 200 points or hope Mckenna passes out after a wake and bake and forgets to set his players.

We learned that there is still plenty of fight left in the Big Fish. Even after taking my horrible advice to start Ryan Fitzpatrick over Joe Flacco, he was able to pull off the victory. Who knew Flacco would also catch a TD, but I can't figure out the Ravens this season so more power to the purple bird thunder beaks. Also doesn't hurt when 3 of your opponents best players get stymied, producing under 10 points.

We learned that in this here Greensville, you better make sure your D is straight. Buck Naked lost to The Cunt Returner by one and half point. Buck Naked also neglected to start a full roster on his defense. 2 tackles would have gotten him the win.

We learned that Omega Nizzle is a gentleman. I can appreciate one shorting his roster being your opponent is down a player, but there is no room in Greensville for fantasy chivalry. You must crush your enemies. See them driven before you and hear the lamentations of their women.

Week 9 Match Ups to Watch:

Cunt Returner vs. Bill's Resin Balls: The first thing you notice is Bill has to start two QB's who aren't Romo and Delhomme. He will be going with the serviceable Cassel and the last man standing in KC, Tyler Thigpen. Both men have horrible match ups against pretty stout defenses. This is the week where the king of the hill might succumb to the wrath of the fantasy gods...but can the Cunt Returner generate enough points without Phillip Rivers to overcome? We shall see.

Omega Dolphin Supreme vs. Favre's Fiasco: Webster needs this one bad, but its not like Omega can afford too many losses at this point. My prediction is that Webster pulls this one out to stay in the playoff hunt. Dirty has a ton of talent on both fronts, but his offense has some unsavory match ups this week. Gerald Jennings at Tennessee, Mantana Soss (hamstring injury) against Pittsburgh and Marion Barber at the South Jersey Tyrees. Great roster on WR and RB, but those shaky QBs are gonna have to show up big time to grab that "W" for Nizzle.


eek eek baby. Not aerodynamic in the least bit, but he gets his tuna.